I feel awful. Like Jo in "Little Women" after she turns down Laurie's marriage proposal. (Bear with me if you haven't read/seen it) Her response to a perfectly good proposal from a wealthy, good-looking boy: "I can't say 'yes' truly, so I won't say it at all. You'll see that I'm right, by-and-by, and thank me for it."
I did the same today to an offer for a well-paying job. It sounds good on paper, but I know I wouldn't be completely happy there. And I'm sure they don't want someone who doesn't want to be there. It's just extremely difficult to get the person offering the position to understand that.
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